he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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