i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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