Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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