Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
