Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
