Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
