hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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