The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
