apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You brought string cheese to the strip club
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
