Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator

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  (586): But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn? (586): Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator http://tfl.nu/x5ch
  Replies (2) Good night (1218) Bad night (546)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park

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  (917): It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park http://tfl.nu/yu5j
  Replies (29) Good night (765) Bad night (3008)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.

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  (613): So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success. http://tfl.nu/o5kx
  Replies (7) Good night (5468) Bad night (830)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.

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  (786): I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying. http://tfl.nu/xg19
  Replies (13) Good night (679) Bad night (4994)
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  (619): View more from California

  He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.

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  (619): He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated. http://tfl.nu/4d8a
  Replies (6) Good night (2487) Bad night (1104)
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  (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.

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  (867): Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now. http://tfl.nu/u52e
  Replies (9) Good night (921) Bad night (2063)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity

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  (727): And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity http://tfl.nu/9e9v
  Replies (9) Good night (2287) Bad night (759)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this

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  (406): I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this http://tfl.nu/2qka
  Replies (2) Good night (1372) Bad night (676)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants

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  (910): If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants http://tfl.nu/gfd8
  Replies (5) Good night (1498) Bad night (598)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.

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  (845): Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night. http://tfl.nu/5oq8
  Replies (17) Good night (1299) Bad night (1123)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.

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  (603): I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar. http://tfl.nu/vit3
  Replies (3) Good night (435) Bad night (1211)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.

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  (812): We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested. http://tfl.nu/f61h
  Replies (3) Good night (993) Bad night (365)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping

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  (403): Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping http://tfl.nu/43en
  Replies (6) Good night (1185) Bad night (241)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt

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  (717): im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt http://tfl.nu/5q8i
  Replies (5) Good night (439) Bad night (521)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.

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  (901): he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there. http://tfl.nu/fd7u
  Replies (1) Good night (411) Bad night (269)

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