Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
In America we eat man semen.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.