I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
