Please, let me fuck your mom
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
im six kinds of drunk right now
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
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She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
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we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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