I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
