yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just cropdusted the office
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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