I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
