The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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