just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
