You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
