her vagine was all disorganized.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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