bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
