what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
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