Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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