I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
