The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize