so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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