Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
