You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
