haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
