I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
