hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
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I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
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You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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