I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
this is an emotional support booty call
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
