with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
