I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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