Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
