i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
