You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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