I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
