don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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