I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Best friends brother. Beat that.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
