he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
