Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
