no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
