Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She even gives head with a lisp.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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