Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
