just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
