No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Everything about him screamed your future.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Randomize
