my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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