What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
