She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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