I can tuck mytits in my pants
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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