dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
