and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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