Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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