physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
