Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize