: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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