I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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