what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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