he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
