So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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