I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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