Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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