you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You are the jesus of drinking
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
