something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
