i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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