What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize