I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
