Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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