I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
