can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
