get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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